you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
