Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
