I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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