Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
