Duck Duck Cougar?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
How external is "for external use only"?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
