I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
