They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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