he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
this hospital has no fireball
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
