The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
