just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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