I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
