You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just had sex on a roof
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
