Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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