5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
