Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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