i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
