Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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