this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
