Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
