I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Everything about him screamed your future.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
