you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize