I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
