he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
