she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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