I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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