Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
