I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
3pm strippers are depressing
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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