Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
