i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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