I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Randomize
