Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
