also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize