Christians are straight up FREAKS
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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