So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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