I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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