i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
