yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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