Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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