Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
