Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
