i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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