scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
