i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
