i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
