don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
