you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
