Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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