break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
