She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
