Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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