so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
