this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
