So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
