so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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