Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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