Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
