I think my fart just growled at me.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
