just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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