I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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