i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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