what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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