So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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