dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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