Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We talked him into tasing himself.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
