so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize