I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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