After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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