just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
