I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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