Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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