im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
