Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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