and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
