yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
